Tee-hee Conversations/ Funny moments 2

“Am I handsome?” Joe asked me.

I was like, “Huh?” ‘Coz I didn’t catch the “Am I…” I just heard, “Handsome.”

I thought Joe was calling me handsome and funny thoughts ran into my mind. I was actually going to answer something else to spite Joe, but thank goodness I stick to my plain goose, “Huh?”

He dismissed my ‘HUH?’

I suppose he thought that I was thinking: “You? Handsome?”

OH! Before that, I remembered something funny…

I just remembered the punch line, so it might not be so funny.

As Joe was saying something about Winter and he ended with, “Kiss-kiss.” , our Math teacher walked by!!!!

Joe went all red and buried his head in his bag!

It was a moment so embarrassing and humiliating that it was actually hilarious.

And there was another time when Winter walked past our class and Seb saw her.

He was watching so intently and told us, “Look at that CHICK!”

Seb said the ‘CHICK’ word so loudly that (I think) Winter heard it, or maybe she just heard our laughter.

And OOOOOOOOOOOH!

Sheltie has braces. Sheltie haa-as braces.

She asked me, “When two people with braces kiss, will their braces interlock together?”

I nodded and said, “It might cut the tongue a little, too”

“Really?”

“Let’s ask Joe.”

Then, I was feeling in a mischievous mood and asked Joe, “Sheltie asked that if she kissed a guy with braces, will their braces interlock together?”

“Oh! She would kiss a guy with braces huh? Let’s ask Seb to wear one,” Joe said excitedly. He hollered to the back of the class were Seb was playing Scrabble with Ryan. “SEB! SHELTIE WILL KISS YOU IF YOU WEAR BRACES!

No, wait. Ryan has braces, right?” Joe said with glee.

Astonishingly, Seb hollered back that Ryan has braces. (Meaning she should kiss Ryan over him, huh?)

“HEY!” Sheltie scolded Joe.

Mandy spoke up, “I don’t think their braces will stick together.”

Joe did some visual movements with his hands and said thoughtfully, “Unless you’re really [I] ganas [/I].”

Therein after, Seb came by and said again, “Ryan has braces.”

I didn’t want to resume doing Math, but Electra wanted to. I was feeling bored and she told me to go talk to others. And so I did, with amazing results! Like the above and down below:

After watching and witnessing so many Scrabble rounds, I went up to Sheltie and began to recite my made-up poem about her character with an accent. And then I went into a Shakespeare-y mood and told Sheltie about the movie, ‘Shakespeare in Love’, where Gwyneth Paltrow was naked in some scenes.

I started to describe Gwyn’s boobs.

“She has nice boobs. Round, just nice and her nipples are so red.”

Sheltie gave me a ‘look’.

Then, I heard Electra calling me. “Hey Minty, talk to Joe, he’s bored.”

Then I said to Joe, “We are talking about breasts.” I said the word, ‘breasts’ very softly, because our Chemistry teacher was in class marking our Chemistry examination paper.

“You’re talking about boobs?” I nodded.

Joe got excited and moved his chair over to us. I sat next to Mandy.

“So, let’s talk about boobs.”

The conversation spiral down to porn and I dampen Joe’s mood by saying, “They’re soft, they sag and they have nipples.”

“Stop it! I can’t stand hearing that boobs sag!” Joe cried.

“Alright then, they’re elastic and…”

Joe broke into a ‘la la la la’ verse and shut his ears.

Then, Drew came by and Joe told him we’re talking about ‘boobies’. Then, he looked at my watch and packed his bags.

It was almost time to go home.

Somehow, before the bell rang, we have one more final conversation about porn.

Sheltie told me that ‘Shakespeare in Love’ shows those nude scenes and she defined it as ‘porn’.

“No, it’s soft porn. It’s not that bad,” I replied.

“But those short scenes make me…” She made her face into a, ‘What-the-heck’ look.

“Let’s ask Drew if he watches porn.” Drew was sitting in my place and I was sitting next to Sheltie.

“I’m a good boy, not like Joe.”

Then somehow, an array of ‘Grandma’ and ‘Grandpa’ and ‘Euroship’ and ‘American Pie’ flooded into the conversation.

Oh man! I got the chronology of the conversations all screwed up. I suddenly remembered Macho Man was in the conversation too. And it wasn’t Drew that asked Joe what we’re talking about. It’s Macho Man! I think.
Mandy was shocked that I watch ‘American Pie’ series. She thought I’m a good girl and wouldn’t dream of tainting my pure mind with all those virtue-erasing dirty props.

Macho said, “Is it so odd to think that she wouldn’t watch some shows like this? Can’t you imagine?”

Mandy replied, “But she’s Minty. Good girls don’t…”

And now I remembered the conversation I had with Electra, the Captain of the Cheerleading Club (CCC- Catholic Cheerleading Club): Triple C.

We were talking about American Pie. She only watched the Wedding I suppose and I went on and told her some funny snippets in American Pie 2, where Jim (Jason Briggs) accidentally put Super Glue on his hands instead of lubrication to satisfy his desire as he watched ‘Pussy Palace’ on TV.

Electra made a face.

“He made moaning sounds, but then, it was replaced by an ‘Ow’ and another until he realized that his ‘thing’ is stuck to the blanket. He looked on his night dresser and saw his lubrication lotion tube left unused while the Super Glue cap was open and dripping… what else? Glue!

Jim said, ‘Oh, shit!’ and ripped the blanket away from his ‘thing’, which was evident with his loud, ‘OW’. Then, he tried to get the porn tape out from the VCR and the tape got stuck on his other free hand matted with glue.
He tried opening the door with his mouth…”

And you know the rest. Or don’t you?

“Jim came out from hospital with a big puffy cotton diaper bandage.”

If you wanna know more, just tell me. ; D