Valuing Friendship - Appreciation

I value friendship a lot as I was born as an only child. It could be very lonely when there's nobody to turn to when you feel that your parents don't understan you a bit; there's just no instant comfort, unless I immediately sms my friends and hope they reply soon.

There was a time when my parents argued and their friends (another couple) came to be 'a third person' or sort of like 'marriage consultants' and I could hear my mom crying; I was in my bedroom. Do you know that I can hear every word even with the door closed?

I was so upset and unhappy that I've thought of crawling out the window and walk to my friends' house. I was thinking: 'That'll teach them to argue next time'. But I'm glad I didn't. I wanted to, but I decided to wait and eavesdrop some more. In some ways, I also feel responsible for my parents arguing. I'm willing to be a scapegoat, a convenient blame just so that they won't blame each other.

There was a time when my dad got really mad and yelled at my mom. She left very early in the morning the next day. Both me and my dad thought she was in serious depression when her boss called in and said that my mom was not at work. I thought she'd done something stupid (like comitting suicide) or just taking the day off to shop or something. I was so scared, so very frightened. I never want to feel that emotion again: it's as if I'm going through a possible grievience over the loss of a loved one.

I cannot say I truly comprehend such pain, but I have experienced for a bit what it could feel like. Think of the parents of their missing children: the pain is so much worse; you want to beleve your child is still alive somewhere and yet the possibilities are slim. And yet, the future is unpredictable. They don't know for certain. It felt like a blow when I thought my mother was missing, but fortunately, she called in to work a few hours late.

The bus was delayed.

And through it all, to all the adults that I've called: please don't tell my mother what I... my dad and I had went through that few hours. I don't want to ever relieve it again.

Also, I appreciate the support I'd received from the adults: You're not my friend friend, but you guys are no longer just an acquaintance, you've become someone important, someone that I'm considering repaying when I've grown up and earn my share of wealth.
:'-)